change is...

...a vast and complex subject matter.
Well, I could pretty much say that about anything, right?
What I mean is that I can't decide if I want to say: "change is good," or: "change is really hard and it sucks," because I'm kind of stuck in the middle of those two.

Needless to say, I have been changing a lot lately.

It's been a year since my cat ran away. Part of me still doesn't get that... in the back of my head I still expect to find him hiding somewhere. Zack was amazing and we all miss him dearly.

It's been a week since my car died, and that was... interesting. Unfortunate, yeah, but I was very blessed to have things work out the way they did. I am learning to rejoice in the midst of my trials.
On Saturday I got to talk to Jon Foreman, and then Cassandra and I accidentally went to Blacks beach. That was quite a day.
Sunday (Greek Easter) was a great day too.
Unfortunately, on Monday I realized that I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends.
It sucked. But I was hurt and I was stuck in a terrible rut. I knew that this was the best possible way out. I had to surrender; and this time, it was completely. Cutting a person out of your life is a lot more intense than deleting your facebook (which I've done), but it was necessary.
As a result of this, I have seen a strange and bright and beautiful transformation in my life and my heart.

For the past few months I sat around in frustration asking WHY? Why me? Why this?
But the past few days I have seen a new spark and a new fire inside of me. I don't ask why, for I am completely in awe and I am excited to see what unfolds.

Tomorrow will be a fun day! I am working in the recording studio with David and we will hopefully get a few tracks down. Then I have work, and then Critical Mass!

And don't forget: Saturday night is The Rescue!!! Please, please check this out and be a part of this event!

Lastly,
In one week it is my 20th birthday.
Wow. In the span of the past year, I did things I never even thought I would do in my entire life. It was beautiful and wonderful and sad and crazy. 19 was a pretty freaking amazing age for me.

I think right now, though, I'm over being a teenager.
So it's a good thing I only have a week left. :)

p.s. The five biggest things I'm obsessing about right now are:
-Jesus,
-Avocados,
-My new camera,
-Invisible Children,
-THE JONAS BROTHERS.
Heck yes. I love them.

p.p.s. I just reread this and I don't want to make it seem like this certain friend of mine I had to say goodbye to was causing grief in my life in any way. He was actually insanely amazing and has encouraged me quite a bit. But it was a close friend of his that I really needed to eliminate contact with. Sad days, I know, but welcome to life.