Dead computers and forgotten ponderings

Finals week is next week, and I am busy cramming to get everything done. If you are in college, you are probably doing the same. You know how it goes.

This might help explain what happened to me last night: I came home from my film class (at around 10:00) and sat down on my bed with my computer to finish up some reviews for my final. I also started talking to Eric on iChat about something interesting. Well, I think it was interesting, but I don't actually remember because the next thing that I know, it's 3:45 am and the light is still on and I am still wearing my jeans and two jackets and my computer sits next to me, dead.

This is just one of those random things that happens to me.
It is kind of funny, but it's also frustrating. It was frustrating because I did not want my computer to die.

I had spent most of the day and the night before not only working on schoolwork, but discussing a wide variety of topics with my friends on iChat.

I found that some of those conversations were incredibly beautiful, meaningful and insightful.
I spoke to Ian about weather or not God exists, and about how everyone worships and believes in something, even if they consider themselves atheists. Cassandra and I discussed the human condition, among other things, and Bundy and I discussed relationships. To Kenny I poured out a lot of big and pressing spiritual questions that were weighing down my heart, and Eric and I had some of the most significant conversations about God that I have had in a long time.

Those conversations were really wonderful. They meant a lot to me. Some are worth reading, and many worth remembering.

I want to read those conversations again, but I can't.

All of them are now gone.

Unlike my homework assignments, which magically save onto my hard drive somehow, these words have disappeared forever. They are now somewhere with Mary Todd Lincoln's sanity and most of my socks (yeah, I don't know what happened to a lot of my socks).

Now, really, the question is: so what?
So what if I lost a few days worth of online conversation?

I'm still trying to figure that out.

I have been known to save some of my online conversations with friends, and while I am not an obsessive conversation saver who must log every word typed and transmitted through the Internet, I do occasionally love to keep the few words I find meaningful.

In fact, I went through some of my old "AIM Logs" or whatever you want to call them, and found that some of them were incredible. Some of them made me think, "I can't believe that I ever felt like that, or said things like that," or, "Wow that was some really good advice, I should remember that!" or, "I was really insightful back then, what happened?"

It made me wonder why we, as humans, feel such a need to archive things. We do have quite an obsession with this. Museums, photo albums, books, storage devices, galleries. We like to save things. We like to preserve things we find important.
Do we forget that we are all going to die someday?

Maybe I should open this up and ask you (the air particles and zeros and ones reading this) some questions:

Do you think anything is really worth saving or persevering? Why?
Do you think that mere "words" can truly be significant or meaningful? Do you think they can be life changing?
If so, what words do you find significant?
Do you realize that soon you will die and the sun will become a red giant and destroy the planet and everything we have saved and stored up and blogged about will be gone?
Do you think I realize this?
If so, why do I even have a blog?
Do I think my words will somehow be meaningful to you?
If so, how?
Why or why not?

Ah, I'm starting to sound like an open-ended final exam or something. I'm sorry. I was just thinking and trying to get you to think too.

Anyway, my first day of work is today!
I don't have much more time, so what I wrote in this post may or may not have made sense.

By and by, I must needs be going.

Wish me luck.