on letting go

Life is, and continues to be, a crazy, beautiful and impossible mystery.

People are born, relate to each other and live their lives and learn and grow and discover things and seek after God and help other people and hurt other people and here am I in the midst of all of that trying to figure it out.

Around this time last year, I really thought that I knew who I was and exactly what I wanted; but it turns out I'm still growing and learning and changing.

I am learning once again what it means to let go. What it means to trust God. To really trust him. To trust him with my life and my heart and my future and my job and my finances and my relationships and everything. Learning what it means to be who I am called to be and to live out my purpose.

Through this, I also sadly realized that I had held a (metaphorical) death-grip around the throat of one of the best and most amazing friends that I have ever known. This was hurting him, and tragically, further killing the relationship that I was so desperately clutching to. For this I am truly sorry.

But what I did (what I realized was the only thing I could do), was I let him go. It was maybe one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I did it.
I burned the bridge that had held us so closely together, and I trusted that God would take Kenny's life into His perfect hands.
Maybe one day the bridge can be rebuilt, but right now that's not what is important.

What is important is the new freedom I have found in this letting go and trusting.

Friends, air particles, you should try this!
Take the most important person or thing in your life and let it go. Give it up to God. (Unless of course the most important thing in your life is God, in which case, that is good.)
But, you will be amazed at how your life becomes whole again when you trust the one who created your life to truly take control of it.
It is the freedom that Christ died to afford me; this I know.

Well, I think those are enough words for now.
Tonight I have to write an "identity paper" for my communications class.

We shall see how that goes.
I find myself rather hard to define.